Translation of The Big Bang Theory Theme Song by Barenaked Ladies

From:

Our whole universe
was in a hot dense state,
Then nearly fourteen billion years
ago expansion started. Wait...

The Earth began to cool,
The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools,
We built a wall
(we built the pyramids),

Math, science, history,
unravelling the mysteries,
That all started with the big bang!

"Since the dawn of man" is really not that long,
As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.

A fraction of a second and the elements were made.
The bipeds stood up straight,
The dinosaurs all met their fate,
They tried to leave but they were late,
And they all died (they froze their asses off),
The oceans and Pangea,
See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya
Set in motion by the same big bang!

It all started with the big BANG!

It's expanding ever outward but one day
It will cause the stars to go the other way,
Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it won't be heard,
Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang!

Australopithecus would really have been sick of us
Debating how we're here they're catching deer (we're catching viruses),
Religion or astronomy, (Descartes or Deuteronomy),
It all started with the big bang!

Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology
It all started with the big bang!
It all started with the big BANG!
Translate to:

Our whole universe
was in a hot dense state,
Then nearly fourteen billion years
ago expansion started. Wait...

The Earth began to cool,
The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools,
We built a wall
(we built the pyramids),

Math, science, history,
unravelling the mysteries,
That all started with the big bang!

"Since the dawn of man" is really not that long,
As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.

A fraction of a second and the elements were made.
The bipeds stood up straight,
The dinosaurs all met their fate,
They tried to leave but they were late,
And they all died (they froze their asses off),
The oceans and Pangea,
See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya
Set in motion by the same big bang!

It all started with the big BANG!

It's expanding ever outward but one day
It will cause the stars to go the other way,
Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it won't be heard,
Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang!

Australopithecus would really have been sick of us
Debating how we're here they're catching deer (we're catching viruses),
Religion or astronomy, (Descartes or Deuteronomy),
It all started with the big bang!

Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology
It all started with the big bang!
It all started with the big BANG!